this is probably the end

real life starts now

hooray college is finally over, just got home this afternoon and basically tossed everything in my room. i'm too exhausted to clean so i guess that's why im blogging. last couple days have been pretty crazy to say the least...non-stop partying has made me sick. but definitely worth it =)

yeah this post doesn't really have a purpose, just wanted to show this pic of me and wongfu. <33333 wes

also got a new digital camera...

maybe i'll try my hand at some videoblogging in shanghai hahah


leona lewis - bleeding love
              james blunt - same mistake

i've been pretty busy the last few days writing my paper on renewable fuels (someone please tell me what this has to do with accounting) so inspiration to update my ongoing list has been kind of low. on the other hand, i could probably tell you more about ethanol and biodiesel than you would ever want to know.

i'm going to write some random stuff that i've pondered over the years, more so from watching anime, movies, and television than personal experience. so theres always these situations where the guy is madly in the love with the girl and either she's clueless and interested in someone else or they already happen to be in a problematic relationship. usually in movies you have the guy running last minute to the airport or put on some other equally unrealistic display of affection to win her back. however, there is also the jay chou attitude of 'ill let you go because i love you so much and want to see you happy.' 

i understand the latter option is pretty unlikely, but i found this contrast is most apparent for those of you who watched meteor garden. you've got a douchebag who constantly pursues the girl and a nice guy who obviously likes her but 'lets her go' for the supposed greater good. can constant (and non-creepy) displays of affection really win over a girl who wasn't interested in continuing/beginning a relationship? of course life isn't as simple as a drama

4) commit to the decisions you make

i don't know how many hours i've wasted sitting around in a giant circle with a bunch of people because no one can settle on a place to go. i think we all fall into this trap of saying 'i don't care' when someone asks where we want to eat, cause we're all under the impression that this is the considerate thing to do. its not..just pick something and i guarantee most of the time the other person will be relieved, unless your name is fred huang and you actually know what you want but don't say it =) anyways, even worse is when someone finally decides and freaking changes his or her mind. i know girls naturally tend to be fickle but indecision is a turnoff...i've think that most girls feel the same way towards guys. this sucks for me because i'm pretty much up for anything but my creativity level in the 'things to do and places to go' department is fucking dismal.

5) 不应该想太多...总是没有用

kings of convenience - i don't know what i can save you from
              the kooks - always where i need to be

i was watching last week's smallville yesterday, and i noticed clark kent had some words of wisdom.

3) "if you look at the relationship you have with this friend, do you really need to know everything about her? or is knowing whats truly in her heart enough to know you can trust her?"

its hard sometimes but pretty important i think at least to a certain extent. however, i don't know what to do once that trust is betrayed, since my experience only goes so far. its not late enough so my commentary is limited... so i'll leave you guys with a little story:

dunping 55: so i drove my camry down to campus
dunping 55: cause my civic is getting repaired
dunping 55: josie got in the car tonight
dunping 55: and she was like 'hey the new car smell is gone'

in other news, my old music script doesn't work anymore so unfortunately my xanga can no longer be used for a jukebox...you guys can just right click and save next to the BUNNEH

 usher feat. beyonce and lil wayne - love in this club (part 2)
              kanye feat. chris martin - homecoming 

i feel like i'm the only one updating xanga these days hahah..or maybe i'm the only one who actually has time to bother with these sorts of things anymore. so theres only about a week left in my college career, and looking back i can still remember wasting time in my imsa dorm room like i'm wasting time now. even though some things feel the same i know i've come a long way... i'm almost tempted to go back and read my xanga entries from 2001 and see if there is a difference. i guess this entry is for reflecting on the last four years and listing some of the life lessons? maybe i'll do a couple a day, to celebrate this week...

1) people don't always say what they mean

there are a lot of possible scenarios where this applies - arguing with someone and perhaps saying something in the heat of the moment. offering someone a choice and not knowing if they are catering to you or genuinely want what they chose. or maybe you just don't know what to say and it comes out awkwardly. especially online, its easy to confuse meanings and a lot of subtleties get missed. i think in high school i tended to read into things more and realized that reading signals is generally a futile effort (unless its clearly obvious). i think these days, i just stop beating around the bush and just directly address those conversations that might have been awkward for me in the past...

2) our lives are defined by the relationships we have with others

i think this one might be kind of obvious, but it wasn't until i entered college that i realized it wasn't so important what you were doing but rather who you were doing it with (har har). money is nice but its useless unless there's people to share it with. simple but so true...i think my mentality has changed a lot in the last couple years regarding money spendage. my parents have always raised me to maximize value for each dollar but i think as long as you're in good company it doesn't matter as much that say, the dish you ordered was kinda crappy.

hmmm i need a haircut...